Have you ever felt attracted to a foreigner? The foreigner is different, catches our attention, and gives us a sense of adventure. If you are already away from your home country to date a foreigner sounds even more appealing.
Being a traveler myself and living in such an international city as Sydney, I have met many of what I call “duo nationalities couples”. So many that I actually believe that one day nobody will be able to answer the question: “Where are you from”, but this is the subject for another post.
I have also met several foreigners (boys and girls) who would give anything to date an Australian in Australia.
To have a relationship with someone from a different nationality sounds fun for many people. But, once they get what they want, is it really everything they expected?
From my friends and my own experiences about the topic I have created a list with the greatest difficulties of dating a foreigner.
1. Dating in another language can cause arguments due to misinterpretation.
Even when you have learnt a new idiom and speak the same language as your partner, some expressions may not be the same. It is very common to hear stories of massive arguments that could have totally been avoided if it wasn’t for the language barrier.
Communication is a must if you are in a “duo nationality” relationship. Misinterpretation will happen and you have to be ready for that. It can take a while to get use to some expressions, tone of voice and even a different way of speaking.
2. Cultural differences will arise. Sooner or later.
Yes, opposites attract. Isn’t this the reason why you both got interested in each other after all? There is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone very different to you. We just need to be aware of the cultural differences.
Everything will look perfect at the beginning of your relationship but you have to be ready for an eventual culture difference breakdown.
It can go from the way you clean your house to the food you cook on the weekend. From the way you wash the dishes and use the water to the way you answer the phone. The truth is: apart from the fact that you are both individuals and have different personalities (which is very normal and common) both were raised in very different ways.
What seems right for you might not be as right for your partner.
I have a friend who shared her frustration with me about the house work when she started living with her boyfriend. The way she has taught how to clean the house was very different from the way he was. They use to have massive arguments on the weekends.
She wanted to clean the whole house in one day and he wanted to clean one room per day. It was simply the way they do it in his country!
I also have seen couples discussing about the idea of hiring a cleaner or not. In some countries, having a cleaner is perfectly fine. In other cultures this is not as acceptable, or at least not in the same way.
It is fun to learn other cultures but it has its peculiarities.
Hot Tip: if you are living abroad, try to adapt to the new culture as best as you can instead of bringing your own culture with you. At the end of the day, you were the one who chose to be in a new country and therefore you should be ready for the challenge.
Sharing your culture is perfectly fine, but don’t try to bring your country to the new one.
3. Communication with families becomes very difficult.
If introducing a boyfriend/girlfriend to your parents is already difficult, can you imagine doing it in a different language?
Even when both speak the same language it is too complicated to manage your attention between families and partner when you partner doesn’t speak your mother tongue.
Especially on a trip to your or his/her home country. Being a translator when you would like to enjoy time with friends and family is not as easy as it sounds.
It can take a while for the two families to connect. Sometimes this connection never happens.
4. Dating a foreigner will make it harder for you to make a decision to return to your home country.
If the relationship gets serious, one day you will have to have a chat about the future: marriage, where to live, kids, etc.
It doesn’t matter where you both decide to live; the majority of the times, one of you will be far away from your family. In my opinion this is the hardest part in a relationship with a foreigner.
Of course not everybody will feel the same pressure. However, if you have plans to return to your home country, think twice before starting a relationship with a foreigner. It can be very good at the beginning but one day you will have to make a decision that can change your life forever.
Despite the fact that international relationships can be tough at times, it is also lots of fun and I would never exchange it for anything else. It is a great experience that will certainly make you grow in many ways. I recommend an article that I read the other day about the 10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Foreigner. I could add 10 more reasons to that list. Well, maybe I will! In another post… Do you have or ever had a “duo nationality” relationship? Do you have interesting stories to share? I would love to hear your stories.
Do you have or ever had a “duo nationality” relationship? Do you have interesting stories to share? I would love to hear your stories.
Share your experiences via e-mail or in the comments part of the blog. Your experience can be very useful to other people in similar situation than yours.
Ana Gusso is passionate about the world and is always looking for opportunities to learn more.Is this your first time reading my blog? Welcome to my page! It is a pleasure to share my visions and opinions with you.
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