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The Greatest Difficulties of Dating a Foreigner

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Have you ever felt attra4333662406_54d932a2a0_octed to a foreigner? The foreigner is different, catches our attention, and gives us a sense of adventure. If you are already away from your home country to date a foreigner sounds even more appealing.

Being a traveler myself and living in such an international city as Sydney, I have met many of what I call “duo nationalities couples”. So many that I actually believe that one day nobody will be able to answer the question: “Where are you from”, but this is the subject for another post.

I have also met several foreigners (boys and girls) who would give anything to date an Australian in Australia.

To have a relationship with someone from a different nationality sounds fun for many people. But, once they get what they want, is it really everything they expected?

From my friends and my own experiences about the topic I have created a list with the greatest difficulties of dating a foreigner.

1.      Dating in another language can cause arguments due to misinterpretation.

Even when you have learnt a new idiom and speak the same language as your partner, some expressions may not be the same. It is very common to hear stories of massive arguments that could have totally been avoided if it wasn’t for the language barrier.

Communication is a must if you are in a “duo nationality” relationship. Misinterpretation will happen and you have to be ready for that. It can take a while to get use to some expressions, tone of voice and even a different way of speaking.

2.      Cultural differences will arise. Sooner or later.

Yes, opposites attract. Isn’t this the reason why you both got interested in each other after all? There is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone very different to you.   We just need to be aware of the cultural differences.

Everything will look perfect at the beginning of your relationship but you have to be ready for an eventual culture difference breakdown.

It can go from the way you clean your house to the food you cook on the weekend. From the way you wash the dishes and use the water to the way you answer the phone. The truth is: apart from the fact that you are both individuals and have different personalities (which is very normal and common) both were raised in very different ways.

What seems right for you might not be as right for your partner.

I have a friend who shared her frustration with me about the house work when she started living with her boyfriend. The way she has taught how to clean the house was very different from the way he was. They use to have massive arguments on the weekends.

She wanted to clean the whole house in one day and he wanted to clean one room per day. It was simply the way they do it in his country!

I also have seen couples discussing about the idea of hiring a cleaner or not. In some countries, having a cleaner is perfectly fine. In other cultures this is not as acceptable, or at least not in the same way.

It is fun to learn other cultures but it has its peculiarities.

Hot Tip: if you are living abroad, try to adapt to the new culture as best as you can instead of bringing your own culture with you. At the end of the day, you were the one who chose to be in a new country and therefore you should be ready for the challenge.

Sharing your culture is perfectly fine, but don’t try to bring your country to the new one.

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3.      Communication with families becomes very difficult.

If introducing a boyfriend/girlfriend to your parents is already difficult, can you imagine doing it in a different language?

Even when both speak the same language it is too complicated to manage your attention between families and partner when you partner doesn’t speak your mother tongue.

Especially on a trip to your or his/her home country. Being a translator when you would like to enjoy time with friends and family is not as easy as it sounds.

It can take a while for the two families to connect. Sometimes this connection never happens.

4.      Dating a foreigner will make it harder for you to make a decision to return to your home country.

If the relationship gets serious, one day you will have to have a chat about the future: marriage, where to live, kids, etc.

It doesn’t matter where you both decide to live; the majority of the times, one of you will be far away from your family.  In my opinion this is the hardest part in a relationship with a foreigner.

Of course not everybody will feel the same pressure. However, if you have plans to return to your home country, think twice before starting a relationship with a foreigner. It can be very good at the beginning but one day you will have to make a decision that can change your life forever.

Despite the fact that international relationships can be tough at times, it is also lots of fun and I would never exchange it for anything else. It is a great experience that will certainly make you grow in many ways.  I recommend an article that I read the other day about the 10 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Foreigner. I could add 10 more reasons to that list. Well, maybe I will! In another post… Do you have or ever had a “duo nationality” relationship? Do you have interesting stories to share? I would love to hear your stories.

Do you have or ever had a “duo nationality” relationship? Do you have interesting stories to share? I would love to hear your stories.

Share your experiences via e-mail or in the comments part of the blog. Your experience can be very useful to other people in similar situation than yours.

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Ana Gusso

 

Ana Gusso is passionate about the world and is always looking for opportunities to learn more.Is this your first time reading my blog? Welcome to my page! It is a pleasure to share my visions and opinions with you.

Did you like the article? Subscribe to receive updates about the topic by e-mail. All you need to do is to click the “Subscribe” bottom which you will find at the top of the right side of the page.

If you liked this article you might like to read this:

–          Effects of Dating Foreign Women

–          How to date a foreigner

As Maiores Dificuldades de Namorar Estrangeiro

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Quem nunca se sentiu atraído (a) por estrangeiro? Especialmente se você tem planos de sair do país que nunca dão certo. O estrangeiro é diferente, chama atenção e muita gente acaba achando “bonitinho”. Se você já está fora do país, namora estrangeiro parece ainda mais promissor. Morando na Australia eu conheci muita gente que está à procura de namorado (a) australiano (a). Conheci também muita gente que ja namorou não só australiano, mas estrangeiros, isto é, de nacionalidade diferente da sua. Parece divertido pensar em namorar alguém de outro país, mas será que namorar estrangeiro é esse mar de rosas que vários esperam? De minhas experiências e experiêcnias divididas comigo por amigos, eu fiz uma lista das maiores dificuldades de se namorar um estrangeiro:

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1. Namorar em outra língua pode causar muitas discussões devido a erros de interpretação

 Mesmo que você fale a língua do seu namorado, nem sempre as expressões são as mesmas. A maneira de se expressar muita vezes também é diferente, o que pode causar confusão e erros de interpretação. Uma boa comunicação é fundamental para um relacionamento de nacionalidades diferentes. Pode levar um tempinho para que você e seu namorado se acostumem com o jeito de falar um do outro.

2. Diferenças culturais uma hora aparecem: nem sempre você precisa ser pedida em namoro ou pedir uma menina em namoro para começar a namorar.

Mesmo que você esteja super animado com seu novo namorado (a), e adorando a ideia de aprender sobre uma nova cultura mais de perto, uma hora as diferenças culturais vão aparecer. Uma situação que já vi muito acontecer aqui na Australia é o fato de meninas ficarem esperando o menino “pedir elas em namoro”.   Talvez nem todas as meninas no Brasil pensem assim, mas encontrei muita brasilera na Australia que ainda espera o famoso pedido como confirmação.

No Brasil, o “ficar” é muito mais comun que em outros países. É comum você sair com uma pessoa por meses ( e as vezes até anos) sem serem chamados de namorados. Na Australia isso também pode acontecer, mas é muito menos comum. Depois de algumas semanas vendo a pessoa constantemente, vocês já são considerado namorados, por isso não se assustem se forem apresentados para amigos como tal antes de terem conversado sobre o assunto.  Esse é só um exemplo de diferença cultural no namoro, mas há muitas outras que variam desde a idade que você sai da casa dos pais até diferentes cerimonias ou rituais de casamento.

3.       A comunicação com as famílias se torna muito mais difícil

Apresentar um namorado (a) para a família ja é dificil, imagine fazer isso em outra língua? Mesmo que vocês dois falem o mesmo idioma, é frustrante ter que fazer papel de tradutor toda vez que você vai visitar sua familia no seu país de origem. É frustante para o visitante também, que se sente incapaz por não estar entendendo nada o que está acontecendo ao redor.

Pode demorar um pouco para as duas famílias entrarem relamente em sintonia. As vezes essa sintonia nunca aparece.    

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4.       Namorar estrangeiro dificulta a volta ao seu país de origem

Se o namoro ficar sério, uma hora vocês terão que ter uma conversa sobre o destino do relacionamento: casamento, onde morar, onde comprar uma casa, etc. Não importa onde vocês decidam morar, na maioria dos casos, um dos dois sempre estará longe da família. Na minha opinião essa é a parte mais difícil de um namoro com estrangeiro. Claro que varia bastante de caso para caso, mas se você tem vontade de voltar para o Brasil, pense bem antes de embarcar em um relacionamente sério com um estrangeiro. Pode ser muito legal no começo mas, inevitavelmente um dias vocês terão que tomar uma decisão que pode comproter a sua vida toda.

Você tem histórias sobre relacionamentos com estrangeiros para compartilhar? Eu adoraria ouvir suas aventuras! Compartilhe aqui no blog. As vezes a sua experiência pode ajudar outras pessoas que estão na mesma situação que você.

Gostou desse artigo, leia tambem:

O que é bom saber antes de casar com um estrangeiro

Top 102 Mitos Sobre Relacionamento com Estrangeiros

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Ana Gusso

 

Ana Gusso é apaixonada pelo mundo e está sempre a procura de novas experiências para ampliar seus horizontes.

Sua primeira vez visitando a página? Seja bem vindo! É um prazer poder compartilhar meus pontos de vista e opiniões com você.

Gostou do artigo? Assine para receber os artigos da página por e-mail clicando no botão “Siga esta página” que se encontra do lado direito do blog ——->

Come to Australia Song

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Did you know that 80% of the animals in Australia only exist in Australia?

Did you know that majority of those Australian animals can kill you very quickly?

Do you know which is the most dangerous animal in Australia that can kill you in seconds?

Don’t get threated by the chorus ” Come to Australia! You might accidently get killed”. Australia is a beautiful and unique place.

And it is not that dangerous as it is sometimes pictured.

Are you planning a trip to Australia? Need some help with your itinerary? Shoot me an e-mail on ana.c.gusso@gmail.com . I will be happy to help.

Programa “Vou para a Australia”

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Divido aqui no blog, pra todos aqueles que estão interessados em vir pra Australia, o programa “Vou para a Australia”.

Este é o único programa voltado para educação, totalmente focado  no mercado brasileiro.

Este é o  6o episodio e você pode procurar os outros no youtube. Vale muito a pena.

Se você quer saber como é a vida de estudante na Australia, você não pode perder!

Está pensando em vir pra Australia? Precisa de dicas ou informações? Entre em contato comigo. Com certeza sera um prazer te ajudar a vir pra cá! 🙂

Pontos e passeios imperdíveis em Sydney, na Austrália

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Meu primeiro post em Português foi retirado da minha contribuição para o blog da Marina Andrade “Na Bagagem” do jornal AN de Joinvile.

Nada melhor do que começar falando sobre uma das cidades que eu mais conheço e amo da Australia. Tem tanta coisa pra fazer em Sydney que um post so não da conta. Esse é só o primeiro. Espero que gostem! 🙂

08 de outubro de 2013

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O Sol nascendo no primeiro dia do ano de 2009 em frente ao Opera House
Foi por acaso que a Ana Gusso foi morar em Sydney, na Austrália, há cinco anos, onde hoje trabalha com marketing educacional. Tanto tempo no país, e ainda por cima trabalhando com intercambista, faz com que ela seja uma ótima fonte para dicas sobre o lugar. – Cheguei em Sydney em setembro, mas não recomendo vir nesta época por causa do vento. Em setembro começa a esquentas, mas trazer casaquinhos, jaquetas e blusas mais finas de manga comprida devem estar na mala neste mês. Ana destaca que outra coisa que não pode faltar na bagagem são sapatos confortáveis, pois se anda muito por lá. – A melhor época para vir é no verão. Em outubro e novembro já faz calor, clima que dura até fevereiro. Sydney é uma cidade de praia então isso faz toda a diferença. O australiano também tem a cultura do churrasco (BBQ) e as praias ficam lotadas de pessoas comendo na parte de grama reservada pra isso. Mas o pessoal não costuma levar guarda-sol por causa do vento, então o protetor solar é indispensável.

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A praia de Bondi – a mais famosa da Australia

É CARO, MAS TEM ALTERNATIVA

Ana dá uma dica: vá com o bolso preparado, pois é um país caro. Mas ainda assim é possível fazer uma série de passeios gratuitos. – A caminhada mais famosa de Sydney é entre as praias de Bondi até Coogee. De outubro a novembro acontece o “Sculpture by the Sea” onde artistas exibem esculturas e pecas de arte ao longo dessa caminhada. O passeio eh gratuito e leva em torno de 40 minutos do começo ao fim. Eh um passeio cultural, diferente e com paisagens belíssimas.

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Aprendendo a surfar

NA ONDA

O surf é uma das paixões por aqui. Quem nunca praticou o esporte, pode fazer uma aula na praia de Bondi. É diversão na certa. Mas cuidado com os tubarões. Quando há perigo na água, soa uma sirene alta e todo mundo precisa ir pra areia, mas isso não acontece com frequência nesta área da Austrália.

SÍMBOLO

O Opera House é um dos símbolos mais importantes da Austrália. Há tours por dentro do local que custam 35 dólares australianos (cerca de R$ 70). Mas para mim, a melhor forma de dar uma espiadinha por dentro do Opera House seria assistir a uma das apresentações que estão sempre em cartaz. A orquestra sinfônica é uma boa pedida para quem gosta deste tipo de musica, mas há vários outros tipos de atrações acontecendo periodicamente e por um preço razoável.

Ponte – Outro ícone da Austrália eh a Harbour Bridge. É a ponte que liga as partes Sul e Norte de Sydney. Uma experiência inesquecível em Sydney é escalar esta ponte. O custo vai de 198 a 308 dólares australianos dependendo do pacote escolhido e do horário. Há várias formas de escalar a ponte mas, independentemente de qual você escolher, a vista lá de cima certamente vai valer a pena. Esse programa exige um pouco de coragem, mas quem fizer não vai se arrepender. Mais informações podem ser encontradas no site: bridgeclimb.com.

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EM MEIO AOS BICHOS

O Taronga Zoo é o maior zoológico de Sydney. Cerca de 80% dos animais australianos só existem por aqui. Neste lugar, você poderá alimentar cangurus, abraçar coalas, além de ver ornitorrincos e outros animais do país como wallaby e o diabo da tasmânia (o Taz da Lonely Toones). O ingresso custa 44 dólares australianos – crianças e famílias têm desconto. Um dia já é um espetáculo e te permite ver o Opera House de uma outra perspectiva. O ferry custa 12 dólares australianos, mas sempre tem descontos para quem vai ao zoológico.

Não vá sem levar!

  •  Protetor solar sempre.
  •  Sapatos confortáveis também.
  •  Leve casaquinhos para se proteger do vento.
  •  Coma fish’n’chips no “The Doyles”, em Watsons Bay, e visite o “The Gap” no local.
  •  Faça um passeio pelo porto de Darling Harbour.
  •  Se estiver com tempo mas sem muito dinheiro, uma opção é ir seria para os países vizinhos no Sudeste da Ásia. Tailândia, Bali, Malásia, Indonésia, ficam bem pertinho da Austrália e são destinos muito baratos. Uma viagem da Austrália para a a Tailândia custa mais barato do que qualquer viagem dentro da própria Austrália.

How to have an international experience when you are short of money or cannot find the time off?

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If you are a travel addict like I am but sometimes struggle to find time or money for a trip, these simple tips will assist you to get that feeling of being overseas without necessarily having to travel.

Going to an international festival, trying  new and traditional dishes or simply interacting with people from different nationalities has shown me efficient ways of satisfying my craving for traveling while staying in my own home city, even when I am short of money or I cannot get the time off.

Because Australia is a country of immigrants and at least 1/3 of Sydney’s population is from overseas (according to the 2011 Census of Population and Housing, almost half of Australia’s population were either born overseas or had a migrant parent) there are plenty of options of cool cultural stuff to do around the city.

 If your city is not as international as you would like it to be, try to adapt the following tips to your reality and hopefully you will be able to find what you are looking for. You can always search for international movies on the internet or try to follow a new drink or food recipe yourself.

 1.       CHECK THE FESTIVAL CALENDAR OF YOUR CITY

Migrants always bring a bit of their culture to the new country. Therefore, where there are migrants there are festivals and events to celebrate customs and special occasions.

Check the festival calendar in the city where you live for a chance to catch a taste of cultural celebrations happening close to where you are.

Since China and India are the 3rd and 4th main birth places of the Australian immigrants – only behind UK and New Zealand – there is a blend of cultures among these countries in Australia. If you are in Sydney, have a look at the Chinese New Year or Moon festival celebrations happening every year in China town or some of the Indian religions festivals occurring around Parramatta and other Sydney neighbourhoods.

Culture lovers from: Brazil, China, India, Turkey, Australia and Italy at the Indian Navrati night in Liverpool, one of Sydney’s neighborhoods.
Culture lovers from: Brazil, China, India, Turkey, Australia an Italy at the Indian Navrati night in Liverpool, one of Sydney’s neighbourhoods.
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Learning Indian dance with the best

You can also learn about certain regions by attending to film or music festivals. The Latin America film festival and the Ritmo Brazilian Day are two examples of this kind in Sydney.

Although the Latin America Festival is all about films, the Brazilian Day is a big cultural celebration which happens every September in the city. In this festival you can find typical food, dance and lots of fun in a huge space located in Darling Harbor, one of the most beautiful spots in Sydney.

Brazilian Samba presentation at the Latin America Festival 2013 - Opening night in Sydney.
Brazilian Samba presentation at the Latin America Festival 2013 – Opening night in Sydney.
 
Different cities have different events and immigrants influence. Check what your city has to offer and have fun exploring different cultures.
 
2.  GET INVOLVED WITH INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITIES AND VISIT INTERNATIONAL TOWNS OR SITES
Sydney has now established a few international locations like Thai and Korean town apart from the popular China town, which can be found basically in every big city.

If you have an international town located in your city it might be a good idea to go for a wonder around and check the different shops, restaurants and markets available. Some of them are so authentic that it will give you the sensation of being overseas.

In Sydney, the Chinese Garden is one of my favourite spots where I can relax and enjoy peaceful views. It really takes me to China without leaving Sydney. For great and authentic Chinese food, nothing better than the well know China towns.

Chinese Garden - Sydney
Chinese Garden – Sydney

3. JOIN THE “MEET UP” OR INTERNATIONAL GROUPS AND MAKE INTERNATIONAL FRIENDS 

 If you have an interest in meeting people from different nationalities, try to attend some of the numerous meet up groups available all around the world. Meet Up is the world’s largest network of local groups and it is present in 196 countries There are plenty of groups where you can learn a different language, how to cook international food with natives or only share information about your passion.

And it is all free!

Meet up is a great opportunity for you to make friends from other nationalities and maybe get invited to traditional celebrations that you might not even be aware of.

4.       VISIT INTERNATIONAL RESTAURANT AND TRY NEW FOODS.

As creatures of habits we tend to always do the same things every time. If we like something we stick to it. It is easy to go to the same restaurant and order “the usual” but, in times of travel cravings, try to be experimental and hit the traditional international restaurants available in your area.

There is always a type of food that you haven’t tried yet.

I got surprised when I went to Washington and found out that the city has the second largest Ethiopian population outside of the country itself. I have never thought about going to Ethiopia but going to that restaurant gave me a better understanding of the country.

You can learn a lot about a country by its food.

Going to a traditional restaurant will give you the feeling of experiencing something new for the first time and maybe, if you enjoy the experience, you can even think about visiting the actual country in the future.

I had some food in a Jamaican restaurant at Kensington market in Toronto once and now I have a plan to go to visit the country! You never know what a food experience can lead you to.

Ethiopian food experience in Washington DC
Ethiopian food experience in Washington DC

If you need some inspiration to choose your next holiday destination, these tips will give you plenty of insights of things to do.

Found a place you would like to visit after readying this post?

Got creative and found different ways of experiencing new cultures in your “not- that-international” city?

Share your experience with us. Every new idea is welcome!

The Pack and Go Movement

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 The Pack and Go Movement: start traveling now!

Chinta Ria

I have been thinking of starting a blog about international experiences for ages. For a long time I have collected reasons which I used as excuses to keep on postponing the beginning of this project, mainly because I wanted my first post to be fabulous. But being introduced to Chinta RR, a Malay restaurant in Darling Harbor, Sydney, strangely made me think that I needed to start sharing my experiences. That maybe I can inspire people; that it wasn’t fair to keep everything for myself. So, here I am, launching this blog for a cause: to inspire people to embrace the challenge, pack the bags and go! It doesn’t matter the destination. If I can assist anyone to make the decision to “pack and go” I will be profoundly happy.

I never thought my first post would be about a restaurant but during my first dinner at Chinta Ria my mind was spinning with ideas. Ideas that I will probably not have time to share in only one post but the important thing here is that Chinta Ria made me take the first step and start this blog.

Well, I will start with a confession: I am addicted to new experiences and I love travelling. If you still don’t know me, I have been to many countries in my life, both for holidays and Business. Many of those countries have been visited by me more than once. I love discovering new cultures and the feeling that I get every time I go to the airport. This passion for interacting with different cultures has led me to a successful career in Educational Marketing within international markets. It also resulted in an 80 page book/guide about living in English speaking countries where I share experiences and provide tips for a smoother beginning to the fantastic world of “overseas”.

So, let’s go back to Chinta Ria shall we? I have been living in Sydney for almost 5 years (anniversary approaching in a few days). Sydney is so diverse in cultures and nationalities that sometimes it is even difficult to meet Australians here. After all these years, I got so use to having access to food from everywhere in the world, to hear different languages spoken on the streets and to interact with different nationalities that I forgot how amazing it is to find everything in only one place. That night at Chinta Ria, when I had the first little taste of the coconut rice with curry, I remembered my beginnings in Australia. I remembered my first Thai food encounter and how I felt sick after eating a spicy red curry. Remembered how fascinated I was when I found out that I could have sushi rolls for only $1; how I could not handle spicy food at all and how I struggled to eat the Indian food offered to me for free at the 1st restaurant where I worked as a waitress in Sydney. That very first bite of the Malaysian food at Chinta Ria made me realize that my first post should be about how much I have grown in knowledge since I left Brazil for the first time.

Before leaving Brazil, Italian food was my favorite. Japanese was on the list too but because of how expensive it was going to a Japanese restaurant was reserved only for special occasions. And that was it! No other food on the menu of preferences, mainly because I didn’t know any other foods. That night I realized that if I hadn’t left my city in Brazil I would, more than likely, not be able to experiment and love many of the foods that I love today. Indian, Indonesian, Thai, Turkish, Nepalese, Vietnamese, Malaysian are all foods that are part of my daily life in Sydney. It is not that I tried once and I loved it straight away. I had time during these past 5 years to get use to new flavors and to learn how to appreciate new foods. Apart from the fact that the food in Chianta Ria is great and the atmosphere is fantastic, I thank the restaurant for making me love my life even more and for ensuring that, indeed, I made the right decision when I decided to “make the big move”.

I hope you enjoy my adventures on this blog and I would love to hear your experiences too. Have you been living abroad for a while? Have you ever felt similar to me? Is there a favorite food that you never thought you would like and now you love? I would love to hear your stories!

Now, if you excuse me, I have a traditional Indian family cooking me dinner tonight so I have to go! I will tell you how it goes on my next post.